[the window of 826 Valencia, August]
Which makes me wonder what, exactly, my Everest would be.
Also:
Clearly, I'm in the middle of a vortex that converges on this: my time to poke at the age-old, what-will-I-become question is now. It is time that I utter brave yeses and well-placed nos. Simply, it is time to start doing.
My working theory is that every blog starts as a wish. I have kept other blogs before, and made other wishes, variously hoping for: a following, a niche, the admiration of strangers, a book deal (you know, the small things). Except I realize that these wishes aren't really for me, they are just about me. I've been slow to understand this. But here we are.
So, it's time to end wistful blogs, daydreamy blogs, and yearning blogs in favor of actually dreaming, trying and becoming. No more self-defensive marketing of self as outlier (which I've become so good at -- and not just on the internets). It's time to be honest with myself; set aside my aversion to work; and occasionally sign on for an adventure that thrills and scares me.
Time to become the cat who could. Instead of the cat who only wished she'd tried.
Also:
Sometimes we don't believe we are worthy of receiving what we dream of; sometimes we don't believe it could ever happen. Sometimes we are so convinced of our apparent unworthiness we do everything we can to prevent the good stuff entering our lives. We don't do this consciously, of course. I'm slowly learning that all i need to do to help the good stuff manifest is to step out the way, to stop littering the path with my worries and insecurities, and all the endless head-chatter that scares the dream whisps away. In some ways it's easier to sabotage our dreams than help them become reality - that way, when they don't happen we can shrug our shoulders and say, 'see? I knew it. I'm not worth it.' But lately i've been trying this idea on for size: what if i AM worthy? What if it is okay for good things to come into my life?
(via ink on my fingers)
Clearly, I'm in the middle of a vortex that converges on this: my time to poke at the age-old, what-will-I-become question is now. It is time that I utter brave yeses and well-placed nos. Simply, it is time to start doing.
My working theory is that every blog starts as a wish. I have kept other blogs before, and made other wishes, variously hoping for: a following, a niche, the admiration of strangers, a book deal (you know, the small things). Except I realize that these wishes aren't really for me, they are just about me. I've been slow to understand this. But here we are.
So, it's time to end wistful blogs, daydreamy blogs, and yearning blogs in favor of actually dreaming, trying and becoming. No more self-defensive marketing of self as outlier (which I've become so good at -- and not just on the internets). It's time to be honest with myself; set aside my aversion to work; and occasionally sign on for an adventure that thrills and scares me.
Time to become the cat who could. Instead of the cat who only wished she'd tried.
No comments:
Post a Comment